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I love my children.
I have loved my children since the day they were born. In fact I love ALL children. But I really do not like the newborn stage. For me it is absolutely miserable. I spent the first few months of my babies lives uncomfortable, exhausted, depressed, and living in a perpetual brain fog.
Newborn babies eat, sleep, and poop.
They aren’t very interactive. You see little glimmers of their personalities from time to time, but very little. There just isn’t much return on investment at this stage of motherhood.
I don’t do well without sleep.
Nor does my husband. We will lay there in bed pretending to be asleep praying that the other one will get up first to take care of the baby. It’s are own little game of chicken. My husband is extremely helpful around the house and takes his responsibilities as a “new dad” very seriously. But neither one of us appreciate a 1 AM wake-up call. Especially when followed by a 4 AM one.
Then there is breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding was extremely challenging for me. Feeding at this age takes FOREVER. I was engorged ALL THE TIME (thanks to my being an AA cup pre-pregnancy). It was so painful. Not to mention the clogged ducts because my babies didn’t transfer milk well, so I still had to bottle feed. I loathed pumping! It’s just not natural, it’s uncomfortable, and felt like a cow.
I hear other moms talking about this stage as such a wonderful. They love snuggling with these precious sleeping babies. They love the time spent nursing them or giving them bottles. They have no trouble waking up endlessly to make sure they are fed during the night. They wear them in a carrier, snuggled into them as they do housework and run errands.
I am so happy for these women. I love that they find so much joy in this stage.
But I am NOT one of these women.
I was so grateful for every month that passed by during the first 3 months of my baby’s lives. You can keep the newborn and just start me out with a 6-month-old that is rolling and jabbering and playing and I will be happy.
